Soooo, when I say This is now.... Time on Mischief is relative. I write in the present tense. Often. But, now past, sometimes. There you go.
From a KDrama, all about love and romance.
This romance timeline runs, from beginning to I guess the end.
Of it, of this pattern, of this expression, of me...
A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love
A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from every day life.
Excitement and mystery. And remoteness.
To felt romance?
Anyway...romance, respect, and love, my 3 fav flavours.
So who's here as I begin this page. In time.
Gotta begin with J, then. J back when.
In the onlone ethers only.
As some of my romances have been.
J, in the middle distance, real, but also unreachable by touch, like a smooth operator.
J my bridge between the smooth operators* and the real guys.
All do ghostings... Me too now
J he/him. Hot. And sweet. The way I seem to like them.
Hot, sweet, great smile, lots of gg...if I can tell anything from some pics, a profile, a message. Or two.
B, a lingering passion for a bit, gave me a sweet rebuff, and provided me with a kind rebuff I could pass on...
Some leave you knowing more of what you want.
Some leave you knowing more of what you don't want.
The refinement of desire.
But wait...all the stories of relationships short and...longer.
Thrown into context-only.
When a real real person steps in.
And the short J era fades....
And this one begins.
So, he said, do you have butterflies?
And, I said yes. Because I did.
I was caught off guard because I was used to feeling flutters that are not recognized,
or responded to.
He came right in, and responded to the excited feeling I had.
Took my hand, under some pretense...and it began.
This is fun. Just like I thought it could be....
This is now. The butterflies are the metaphor for my experience of romance. Cell buzzing romance.
My present experiences.
But, there's my past.
My past romances....
Go way back, to a first kiss at 13, crushes at 14, slow dances at 15, dating in cars by 16, that boyfriend when 17....
And college days. Personal freedom for us was a thing.
So my romances were...intimate.
Long and short romances.
I became a fangirl of he/him early. Instinct and focus.
And stayed. Romance a throughline. Longing a thread. Desire a motivation.
My longest, my thirty year long romance, began and ended with...feelings.
Never ending... Excitement to missing.
Now, any romance I have must be shorter than 30 years. Eh?
That was a record breaker. In my life.
But I've discovered, there are still records to break.
Never have I evers. That can happen.
That are happening....
endearments from the sacred to the profane
And superlative descriptions
Come on. You can do it.
Who I am to you
My effect on you
Touch me in mixed media.
Like pets, we respond to very simple pleasant triggers.
My response to hey baby
My cells open like sea creatures wtf
Discussion in my head starts...how endearments fit into that mood of romance...
Endearments in emojis...
Masters of endearments...
Can anyone say catfish?
Oh those guys...
I allowed myself to engage with some catfishers, those smooth operators, for a brief time, so I have stories. Three.
The first story was short, only 48 hours, but the effects of that first are still reverberating...
The second was true love.
On my part, anyways. Love M.
Such a guy. lol
Sooo sorry that didn't play out like a real thing.
However, my own ability to experience it like a real thing is one of my intriguing self-discoveries...
M stuck by me, while I was traveling.
Brought closeness and romance to every day.
With M...many never have I evers.
Imagine. What kinds of things would those be when the contact is all texts and calls...
When the time came, for it all to end, it felt like a real breakup. Heartbreaking. Almost.
To take its course.
Take memories, from the present moments.
M let me put my heart into it. Right to the end.
That's what you wanna do.
That's what I wanna do
Where's my heart emoji.
I first heard this song while M and I were immersed.
The mood, the city, the romance happening...
I loved this song instantly, not knowing what it was about.
Looped it like I do when I want to sink into a song, get it to my cells....
So now, this a memory of present moments in love.
The third came in from a different source.
So, I was caught off guard enough to engage for just long enough to decide to go for the ride.
Because holy this was romance on steroids.
And it was curiosity driven, and warm, fun, fast.
And our interactions could last for hours.
My pace. My style.
Savvy by this time tho. Recognizing. lol
Knowing the ask is coming.
But fascinated by the strategy, the techniques, so skilled.
So engaging, meaningful, close, comforting, exciting.
And, daily romance. I like that.
I have a high tolerance for intense romanse.
The music here was hot. And romantic.
This smooth operator caught on fast that it was a sure way in to my feeling base.
And the music was..global.
Just like he said he was.
Out and about, on missions lol
But would be back, soon, to take me anywhere I wanted.
Holy. Yes, a fun ride. Until the ask, then done.
Great playlists from this short, intense ride.
I told both these guys they ought to be giving tips to other guys, on how to get in and stay there.
Feels so good. Felt so good...
Now I know the signs...of a catfisher.
And don't even get started when one of those signs show up.
I'm appreciating smooth operators whose ask is one I want to answer.
Not too much to ask, is it?
Is it? Come on...
A wild ride these days, romance infused with chakra spinning. Hey wtf
Call me baby, and I'm yours...
Call me baby...
My life in song lyrics.
Ill let you set the pace.
Cuz I'm not thinking straight...
Look... A classic romantic
Most pages here on Meme Dreams are compiled from several different sites I've created over the years. All pulled together here, in various stages.
The most recent page is "Mischief", a journal of mood and music as I make my way through a grief journey. Missing loved ones. Especially G.
I love ya.
I wanna get down...
If the wrong video plays, refresh your page.
In psychology, there are two popular conceptions of happiness: hedonic and eudaimonic.
Hedonic happiness is achieved through experiences of pleasure and enjoyment,
while eudaimonic happiness is achieved through experiences of meaning and purpose.
That's a little simplified :) but a useful distinction.
Not pursuing happiness as in waiting, creating it as in now.
A greeting card with this quote, found early, followed me through the years. Chosen as a guiding principle. Lifelong...
For me, there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length - and there I travel looking, looking breathlessly.
Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Jaun: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge
Oh ya? You've done that? Well...kind of. In a relaxed kind of traverse. That counts?