Or is it a nervous system misfiring, causing euphoria? It's a mischief mystery...
At the moment I call this feeling my peculiar vulnerability, when I tak about it...out there lol...
Hey...just setting up this page gets the lights flashing throughout my being.
Chakras spinning, kundalini rising has always been a focus for me. Started young.
I can remember sitting in a bus station, about 20 yrs old. And passing the time until my ride came, with a kundalini meditation. The bus trip a trip.
I have no trouble hanging out in waiting rooms.
These past few months tho have been something else.
Call it up! Or just be....
Descriptions all over Mischief...
Chakras, kundalini. Do you believe that shit? Uuuh yes I do.
A useful description of energy moving. Which it does.
Energy rising, localizing, diffusing.
Top ten tips to do that:
2. Imagine a snake coiled at the base of your spine... wtf
Can I imagine a, ummm, beam of light instead? Or, a bunch of little lights?
Sure. Whatever works.
3. ... (Go ahead. Fill in. We all know some.)
Effects, these or whatever.
We say listen to your gut.
What does that space mean to you?
One way to see it, feel it...we all spiral, and move energy up, down, around, back up. For a lifetime. Unaware...or aware and deliberate about it...
Changes in kundalini movement, chakra spinning, can be enhanced by awesome experiences, on-purpose meditations. And caused by intense serendipitous experiences. And trauma.
I've always asked the powers-that-be (the never ending inner me)
to keep me on the path of energy awakening gently, gradually. No hurry. Power of intention, eh?
(Cuz kundalini awakening can be sudden, and overwhelming. And can wreck you. For a spell.)
I've been on the path to self-realization (my version of god) since I was a teen. Awareness as a child.
However, things are speeding up, for a while.
And I feel...stimulated.
Music cranks it up a notch. Or smooths or soothes it. Or cranks it up.
Music to get a rise out of you...
This is a first chakra tune.
I'll get the link to more, someone's work to link up music to the chakras...
Recognizing an awakening, a drop into a creative, personal space, is a reason I keep immersing in the mood and music.
Why stop? A hedonic and eudaimonic experience all wrapped up in one. Pleasure & meaning.
A lifetime throughline that has guided so many of my choices...
Right now it's pleasure laced with pain.
Part of my grief journey, an intensity workout. (For me)
Kundalini rising is contributing to increased fangirl behavior.
Sounds like a weather report.
I'll keep you updated on where those chakra energies are wreaking havoc. Maybe.
We're on a whim here.
What about this feeling I have when I wake at night? I'd like to offer myself up to science research.
Hook me up and tell me wtf is that not quite pain, not quite pleasure tingle, in different parts of my body.
Its pervasive, it moves, and moves when I do.
And no, it's not like "my foot's asleep". It's different.
These days I notice it as soon as I'm in bed and self aware. (Uh oh, before I go to bed now, anticipating...)
It's there when I wake from sleep, during the night and in the morning. And it's getting wild.
Once I'm up and around, that awakened cell feeling I have is more distinctly pain or pleasure.
Interesting. More thoughts attached?
Background ache, heart clutching pain, to mild pleasure, or all the way to euphoria
...and it's euphoria with an intensity range.
So, I described all this to T, who's a PhD pain expert.
She's like ya mom, trauma creates...yada yada.
(Hey ya. I've had trauma. Who hasn't eh?)
Bringing on the science to offer up more visuals to imagine the magic of lit cells. Buzzing.
Hey thanks! Grief trauma delivering more kundalini awakening. From my base to my fontanel.
Who'da thunk? Unexpected affect of loss of a fav, a bias.
...It's moving up.
We are used to a buzz that lights up our base right?
A couple of months ago the buzz hit my chest.
I was experiencing lots of fond feelings and when I stopped to check origins...a feeling of heart aliveness.
Go with it. Who doesn't like to feel love?
With a breath it flows up into the throat...
Let's experience that for a while.
i love you so bad
Feelings of love? Heart chakra? Has listening to The Rose and their sweet songs been causal? an affect? ILYSB...
A voice enters my cells and all my chakras spin until the energy flangs off me, into the universe.
Too fun and dizzying for words.
Words work. Music works. Words and music. An affect
Will I, shall I, write about what happens when a real human touches this?
Now, after a spell of vertigo for days...my head, wut?
A soft pleasant feeling up here in my skull. I thought it was just from a good day yesterday, all day.
But it's here again today and I'm having trouble following processes.
Like the steps to make coffee. How to create a photo album. Things I do all the time. But it feels nice.
It's just that...it has a feeling of anticipation. Just like how it hits all my other chakras.
And my thought, again, how am I going to satisfy this exquisite feeling of anticipation...
It has familiar elements (pleasure has always been a guiding pursuit).
But I am at a place in my life that I have never been before.
What are my coordinates? Where is this all going?
a life journey. art itself.
turn on the music. change the mood. or enhance it.
notice, where's my snake
uncoiling again, it's rising
Where do we go from here?
How about my latest mind and body music obsessions?
or who's the talent creating cell buzz love in me these days?
Speaking of Euphoria... Just BTS's Jungkook here. His voice, euphoric. Jungkook. Getting high.
i'm so happy till i can't breathe
Omg I could start a page here on the quick takes I get when I rest my focus on a guy...
Entertaining! Surprising! I am like a mind-body-love reader. Where's your lit. A chakra intuitive.
I want to set up a gypsy tent and do readings.
Let me tell you what kind of love you do (or would)...
But I'm caught in my own warm daydreams.
Should I tell you what a focus on Jungkook brings up?
It begins with a close slow dance...
Oh stop, one of me says. Who asked you?
But, don't you wanna know... GD's magic? omg
Or B.I's passion? yikes
1st I go into a trance state...
No! Not here, not now...
Let me distract myself with a link to a master chakra spinner. My guy Tae...
Hey, copying the post below from my September 2021 Running Commentary page...definitely chakra spinning still happening.
No lessening. More... An update.
It's hard to describe the alertness, aliveness, sweetness
that I feel from arches to scalp.
My brain feels like what marshmallows taste like.
Fucking hell. It's wildly sweet. And soft.
Day or night, music or quiet, whatever the position, action.
It's a background note when I'm interacting with humans.
Humans in the flesh I mean, with me, or accessed on some device.
This constant cell shiver tho, drives me toward a focus that gives it attention and expression.
Daydreams, soma dance, myyoga, watching music videos are spaces of time in the present moment, for me.
Follow the music I do. Immerse, travel a path with heart, breathlessly.
(You know that quote?)
Watching guys etc sing, move, play instruments, perform, feels causal.
But I experience the excited cells anyway.
I can move the excitement of the cells with my attention, with my breath, with soma moves. It's a trip! Skills!
Why Zico here? Comfort...
And my cells are on the move when I look at him. Watch him. Hear him.
He's magnetic. And my fangirl responds.
The I's in me, the cells in me. Move. Love.
Hey so, thinking of that feeling of anticipation, Our Song here again (on my Covers page)...
On first listening I stopped when the cello beat came on. And when I watched the whole thing I noticed the next set of bars, with the beat on the guitar added. Then a voiced crescendo. All awesome.
I noticed that I was anticipating that middle to end part and alerted myself to be mindful that...
Sometimes when we anticipate something, we move our attention to it. And take it off the present moment.
So, focus. Now.
Great pay off, focusing on this whole song.
From starting tone to last breath.
The ever-present-at-the-moment bliss.
Is wild, with all that focus.
Anticipation is kind of like desire.
Connected, related. Intertwined.
Both give a sense of wanting completion... Reach, release
Lol so I can put these good ones on loops...focus, anticipation and completion coming in waves.
A while back, mid morning, I am telling T that I am as high as a kite.
T takes all my metaphors and turns them into some kind of science.
She asked... Do you mean you are feeling super euphoric?
It feels like all my organs are outlined in light. Light I can feel.
(My throat, my heart, my skin...I begin scanning my parts)
After we talk pleasure chemicals and hormones we identify that I chose to experience this early on.
Part of my throughline.
Like, let's do bliss. As a life goal. I liked the sound of it. And I liked the feel of it...always real life glimpses, touches.
Like out in the meadow, or under the covers....
And now, this cells buzzing...this is bliss?
That's what it feels like. But with complexity.
So, let's do bliss. k?
And hey T, while we are thinking up good Tshirt memes, let's do that one.
Aaaand we are back to euphoric.
Makes me think of that feeling of immersing in cold water on a warm day.
That hit of such aliveness that you want to recoil.
It's so fxxking intense it could mean danger to the physical being.
It's okay. No danger.
Go ahead, give over to the intensity, and immerse. Stay. Move.
Anticipating the rush of euphoria when you leave the cold water.
If someone had said that feeling could become a 24/7 experience....
Did I ask for that? uuuh ya. Is it manifesting?
Or is it a nervous system glitch.
Maybe I'm AI. A switch has turned on. Where's my maintenance guy?
I'll call him tomorrow.
Right now I'm busy discovering new talent. New to me. Gemini, Going...
Glide, drift. This gets to be on my chakra spinning page
Gemini, lots of casual guy gestures here
Does my doc qualify as a maintenance guy?
They have their own lingo.
He says, on hearing my description of what is happening....well, we don't want to pathologize this. :)
I love my people.
And S says...do you have a carbon monoxide detector? Maybe...
I LOVE MY PEOPLE!
I'm off to Canadian Tire.
So, this experience, where my lit cells can be found buzzing here or there in me...
That lit warmth heads back to my first chakra and waits there.
Like a cat on its velvet bed, making sure it can be found. For next time...
It's wild tho, a mini vortex of purring. Concentrated. Wtf. Now what?
I just said "cells buzzing", in a convo, referring to this feeling I have.
And this brilliant light pegged it for me.
In terms of the "buzzing" I have found that when people come out of a period of deep struggle like the caring for and eventual death of a partner, they often have an awakening. It is a movement both inward and outward as they reclaim their time and place that they have lost as they focused on the other person. This awakening can be glorious and full of brightness with a strong sense of now. "Buzzing" in all its meanings can be part of that process. Is that what you think is happening with you?
Yes! I said.... And after a few seconds spinning on the deep struggle, spun out on my buzz....
Glorious and full of brightness.
A strong sense of now.
Yes! And feeling it, cuz that's where feelings spring from. Now.
A recognition of what this is all about, elicits gratitude.
And more buzz!
First, express gratitude.
This dance, to Italian pianists Ludovico Einaudi's Experience, an experience.
Described by the light as sensual, sexual, ethereal.
Shared. A fusion, then a fission.
Thank you. More...
As long as we have desire, we are alive.
Sooo, what is this euphoria like. On Covid.
Not something that occured to me to wonder.
But now that Covid has happened to me...let's assess.
The short description...holy freak.
Enduring the extreme sleepiness, and the wiiicked sore throat.
And then experiencing mind altering early morning (mid, late, afternoon, evening...okokok) body highs,
Im sure that my 24-7 euphoria has made this Covid experience ummm tolerable. More tolerable than expected.
Downright pleasurable actually. Quite a bit of the time.
Holy freak. Pleasure washes...
Again, gratitude comes to mind.
I said I'd write about what happens when a real human touches this.
Didn't I? Did I?
breathing in, I feel. breathing out, I...dissolve. like a fizzy candy in water. drink me
Most pages here on Meme Dreams are compiled from several different sites I've created over the years. All pulled together here, in various stages.
The most recent page is "Mischief", a journal of mood and music as I make my way through a grief journey. Missing loved ones. Especially G.
I love ya.
I wanna get down...
If the wrong video plays, refresh your page.
In psychology, there are two popular conceptions of happiness: hedonic and eudaimonic.
Hedonic happiness is achieved through experiences of pleasure and enjoyment,
while eudaimonic happiness is achieved through experiences of meaning and purpose.
That's a little simplified :) but a useful distinction.
Not pursuing happiness as in waiting, creating it as in now.
A greeting card with this quote, found early, followed me through the years. Chosen as a guiding principle. Lifelong...
For me, there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length - and there I travel looking, looking breathlessly.
Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Jaun: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge
Oh ya? You've done that? Well...kind of. In a relaxed kind of traverse. That counts?